Adopting A Baby Isn’t A Competition. Or Is It?

Adopting a baby isn’t a competition. But sometimes, it can sure feel that way.

I was thinking about this the other day after I came across this advice column, Couple Reminded That Adoption Isn’t A Competition. Usually I don’t pay a lot of attention to these types of columns, but this one really struck a nerve with me and I think you might find it interesting too.

In it, an anxious and obviously frustrated hopeful adoptive mother says she’s fed up with “bidding” against another couple for a child. Continue reading

10 Things To Expect After Adopting A Newborn

Having a newborn join your family is exciting. But if you’re an adoptive parent, it can feel extra exciting.

Finally, all those hoops you jumped through and years of waiting have finally paid off. 

Just think, no more worrying about updating your home study. No more fretting over your Google ads account. No more jumping out of your seat every time the phone rings, or wondering why your social worker hasn’t called you back — again.

Congrats! And welcome to the club! Continue reading

10 Things They Don’t Tell You About Private Domestic Adoption

This guest post is by Barb, a waiting adoptive mother

Fingerprinting.  Medical reports.  Adoption training.  Endless paperwork.

These are just a few of the many steps hopeful adoptive parents need to go through in order to be ready to adopt through private domestic adoption.

And that’s the easy part!

What isn’t so easy is all the other stuff people don’t tell you about.

My husband and I are “officially waiting,” and sometimes I feel like it’s a wonder we ever got to this stage—not because we don’t meet the criteria or weren’t willing to do the work, but because getting things done in a timely manner is a challenge in the world of private domestic adoption.

When we started our wonderful, yet often frustrating journey, we contacted several agencies and licensees to inquire about next steps. To our great surprise, not everyone responded.

Even more astonishing was the fact that during our P.R.I.D.E. training we learned that many other waiting parents had the same experiences. Continue reading

To The People Who Call Me A Baby Thief Because I’m Infertile And Want To Adopt

This guest post is by Jane, a hopeful adoptive mother*

Last week you asked people what’s the one thing they wish others wouldn’t say about adoption.

Here are a few things that I would like to share with you as a hopeful adoptive mother who has experienced infertility:

I do not want people to tell me that my husband and I will never be the “right” parents for our child(ren) because we do not share DNA with them.

I do not want to hear that we are bad people because we are unable to build our family through natural means and have decided to build our future family through adoption.

I do not want to hear that instead of “helping ourselves to an expectant mother’s baby” we should instead do the “right thing” and do what we can to help her keep her baby.

I do not want to be called an “adoptoraptor” or a “kidnapper” or even an “adopter.”

I do not want to hear that I am “stealing” someone else’s child if that child was willingly placed for adoption.

I do not want to hear that my infertility is a sign that I am not meant to be a parent.

I do not want to hear that parenthood is only for those who can make a child through natural means.

Continue reading