Giving birth is a physically and emotionally challenging process. Few events in life are more important.

So when you add adoption into the mix, things can even more overwhelming.

That’s why It’s important to create a hospital plan in advance.

This involves not only choosing a hospital. But also deciding on how you want the delivery to take place and what role, if any, you want the adoptive parents to have (that is, if you’ve already created a relationship with them).

Do you want them to be at the hospital with you?
Do you want them to be in the delivery room?
Do you want them to take part in the process, and if so, how?

Some expectant mothers want the adoptive parents to experience the birth themselves, as much as they can, by bringing them into the process.

Among other things, they invite the adoptive parents to

cut the umbilical cord
be the first to hold the baby
begin the bonding process immediately after the baby is born

Others, however, prefer to spend as much time alone with their baby in order to say a proper goodbye.

Many experts believe that this helps with the healing process — it’s hard to say goodbye to someone if you haven’t said hello. Spending time with your baby, holding him, talking to him, bathing him — these are all things that can help with the grieving process.

But as with so much of the adoption process, the choice is up to you.The important thing is to discuss what you want with your adoption work and the adoptive parents before you go to the hospital. The more details you can work out beforehand, the smoother the process will go.