How Do You Know If You've Found The Right Family To Adopt Your Baby

	Adoption Risks:
	Is Adoption for You?
	Choosing Your Adoptive Parents
	A Good "Fit"
	If You Change Your Mind
	Just Before the Placement and After
	Ten Common Mistakes Birth Mothers Make When Choosing Adoptive Parents

How Do You Know If A Family Is A Good "Fit"
So how will you know if you've clicked with the right family to adopt your baby? Believe us, you'll know. Among other things, you'll feel:

A huge weight has been taken off your shoulders
Like you were speaking to a friend, not a complete stranger
That the time just rushed by
That your fears about running out of things to say were all groundless
Like you didn't mind telling them things you normally don't tell others
Like you can't wait to speak to them again

If things go well, eventually the prospective adoptive parents will want you to speak to their licensee. A licensee is either an individual or an agency that's in charge of the legal side of an adoption. Don't be alarmed. Think of it as just another conversation. You won't be asked to sign anything right away or make any commitments. Adoption is a legal process and a licensee needs to make sure that all the proper legal steps are being followed -- that you're aware of your rights and responsibilities. Even though a licensee's services are paid for by the prospective adoptive parents, in theory his/her position in the adoption is neutral.

You'll also have the chance to speak to a adoption practitioner. S/he'll explain what's involved in placing your child for adoption and, if you still want to go ahead with your plan, ask you (and the birth father) to fill out some forms regarding your social and medical histories.

cat in boot The number of sessions you have with the adoption practitioner will vary, depending on your needs and wants. All the information will be confidential, although some of it will be passed on to the prospective adoptive parents in order to help them with their decision.

One of the first things an adoption practitioner may ask you for is a verification of pregnancy. Don't be offended. Remember, in the initial stages of your relationship, the only thing the prospective adoptive parents will know about you for sure is that you saw their profile on the Web. They'll probably want more assurances than that before they proceed further.

Whether he wants to take part in the adoption process or not, the father of your child also has the right to counselling and needs to give his consent to the adoption. Birth father rights vary from province to province, which means that a lot will depend on where you live.

You may find that although the birth father may not be any more ready to raise your child than you are, he may feel resentful about your decision to go ahead with your pregnancy. As a result, he may try to find a way to get back at you and perhaps even create problems with the placement. Then again, he may decide that he wants to raise the child himself. No matter how you may feel about him, it's a good idea to stay on good terms, at least until after the placement. After all, you're going to need his cooperation, and you don't want to give him any reasons to get in the way of your plans.

As part of the adoptive process, each adoptive couple has to complete a home study. A home study covers much of the same territory as your family and medical history.

There's a chance the father of your child may try to convince you to keep the baby. Rightly or wrongly, he may believe that the three of you have a future together as a family. Just remember that in order to flourish, a child needs a loving environment. A child shouldn't be used to solve his/her parents' problems or as a means to patch up their differences. If anything, s/he may give the parents even more things to fight about.

As part of the adoptive process, prospective adoptive parents have to complete a home study with a licensed adoption practitioner. A home study covers much of the same territory as your family and medical histories, and includes information about a prospective parents' views on parenting and adoption. Next to your conversations with them, it will probably be the most complete source of information you have about them.