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Adoption Risks:

Adoption Risks: If You Sense a Birth Mother Wavering
If a prospective birth mother seems ambivalent about her adoption plan there's only so much you can do to help her. You can discuss her concerns, but you can't twist her arm or offer her anything to place her child with you. Just hope that if she does change her mind, she does it sooner than later, while your emotional and financial investment is still relatively minimal.

The more counselling a potential birth mother gets and the earlier she gets it, the better your chances are of success. She has to know what's involved in placing her child for adoption so that she doesn't come back later claiming she was pushed into making a decision against her will.

As for your worries that one of your adoption professionals will talk her out of her decision, that doesn't happen. An adoption practitioner or a licensee can merely explain the options that are available to her. The rest is up to her. That's why it's important to get the best professionals you can and to a prospective birth mother like a real person, with the respect and humility she deserves..


If, for one reason or another, you get off to a shaky start or don't have a good feeling about your situation, make your situation fall apart.

 

If, for one reason or another, you and a prospective birth mother get off to a shaky start or you don't have a good feeling about your situation, make it fall apart. You read that correctly: Make your situation fall apart. If it does, it was never meant to be. If it doesn't, then you'll know you have something to build on. There's no point getting involved in a situation where you always have to watch what you say and feel like you're walking on eggshells. Remember, if the placement goes through, you'll be dealing with your child's birth parents for the rest of your life

Having a pregnant woman with an adoption plan change her mind is the most shattering experience you'll face in private domestic adoption. Sometimes, the news will come as a complete shock. Often, though, there will be clues or signs along the way. Make sure that in your haste or zeal to make your adoption happen you don't overlook them.

Prospective birth mothers change their minds for any number of reasons. Although it's hard not to take the news personally, often it will have nothing to do with you. It may just come down to the fact that she was not ready or that she was confused. So don't think of it as a rejection. Or a betrayal. Getting bitter will only delay your search and colour the way you deal with the next person who contacts you. In the end, you have to accept that the situation just wasn't meant to be, and that you're one step closer to the one that is. Try to learn from your mistakes and, when you're ready, move on to the next situation. As long as you don't throw in the towel, there will be other opportunities.


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