How to Confirm If The Woman Who Has Contacted You For Adoption Is Pregnant

	Adoption Risks:
	If a Birth Mother Contacts You
	Confirming Her Pregnancy
	How Do You Know if a Birth Mother will Change her Mind
	If You Sense a Birth Mother Wavering
	The Birth Parents' Social and Medical Histories
	Just Before the Placement and After
	Ten Common Mistakes Adoptive Parents Make When Adopting

Confirming The Pregnancy Of A Woman Who Has Contacted You
Most hopeful adoptive couples automatically assume that if they're contacted by a woman she must be pregnant and she must be a birth mother. Unfortunately, that isn't always the case. You may be serious about adoption, but the person who has connected with you may not be. So until you get a proof of pregnancy, don't assume that she's a prospective birth mother, that she's considering adoption for her baby, or that there's a baby at all.

Getting a confirmation (a letter from her doctor, a copy of her ultrasound etc.) is something best left to your adoption practitioner or licensee. But don't leave it too long. If the woman who contacts you makes excuses as to why she can't supply you with one, move on to one that can.

By the way, chances are you and the prospective birth mother will live in different cities. But as far as gathering information about her is concerned, that shouldn't be an obstacle. You can still keep control over the process, no matter where she lives.

For instance, once you come across a woman you feel good about, arrange for her to undergo a face-to-face assessment with an adoption practitioner in her home province or state. An adoption practitioner will be able to pick up on things that you can't and alert you to specific issues that may be of concern to you. The cost is minimal and your licensee can make all the arrangement for you.

Birth father rights vary from one province or state to the next, so a lot of what you'll need from him will depend on where he lives.

In some cases, a prospective birth mother will have months and months to go before her due date. On the plus side, this will give you plenty of time to find out what you need to know about her. On the down side, since by law you can only work with one woman or couple at a time, it may tie you up in a situation that doesn't pan out and prevent you from getting involved in one that could.

If it suits you, you could put a prospective birth mother on hold and tell her that you'll contact her closer to her due date. But that could mean losing her. At the end of the day, a lot will depend on how you feel about her, how anxious you are to find a baby and whether anyone else responds to your letter.

As for prospective birth fathers, as mentioned earlier they often play a secondary role in the adoption process. There's a chance you may not have a lot to do with him. Birth father rights vary from one province or state to the next, so a lot will depend on where he lives. But don't ignore him; his consent to the adoption is critical.

In regards to the prospective birth parent's parents, unless the birth mother is under age they don't have a large say -- legally-speaking, that is -- in the process. However, it's still important to get them involved and assure them that contrary to their fears, they won't be losing a grandchild.