If A Birthmother Changes Her Mind | Tips For Adoptive Families In Canada

	Adoption Risks:
	If a Birth Mother Contacts You
	Confirming Her Pregnancy
	How Do You Know if a Birth Mother will Change her Mind
	If You Sense a Birth Mother Wavering
	The Birth Parents' Social and Medical Histories
	Just Before the Placement and After
	Ten Common Mistakes Adoptive Parents Make When Adopting

How Do You Know If A Birth Mother Will Change Her Mind
Next to confirming whether or not the person who's contacted you is pregnant and has an adoption plan, this will be your biggest concern. That said, there are indicators that can help you handicap the situation. For instance, your radar should be up if a prospective birth mother falls into any of the following categories:

she's under 20 and has no children
she lives with her parents
she has a continuing relationship with the father of her child
she was raised by a single mother and has friends who are single mothers
she has no plans for the future or for going back to school or starting a career
she has dropped out of school or has no post-secondary education
she lives in an urban city and/or is dependent on social assistance

Remember, these are just indicators. They're not foolproof and they're not written in stone. The fact that the person who's contacted you may exhibit one or more of them doesn't necessarily mean that she'll change her mind. Nevertheless, they're here for your consideration and shouldn't be ignored.

whistle In theory, a pregnant woman with an adoption plan could change her mind anytime. That's in theory. In practice, if she (or the birth father) makes her decision prior to the placement of her child, there's nothing you can do to change her mind. However, if she changes her mind after the expiration of the revocation of consent period, there's not a lot she can do since her parental rights to the child will have been terminated. The revocation of consent varies from province to province. In Ontario, for instance, consent to adoption can't be given until the baby is seven days old. Then there's a 21-day period where the birth mother (or father) can change her mind, reverse her decision and have her baby returned to her, no questions asked. (For further details, consult your licensee or adoption practitioner).

In the event that a potential birth mother does have a change of heart, don't automatically assume, as some waiting parents do, that she was out to deceive you. Unlike a surrogate mother, a pregnant woman has no obligation to place her baby with you. No contracts are signed. For all intents and purposes, she owes you nothing. In fact, until the revocation of consent period expires, you shouldn't think of her as anything else but a pregnant woman with an adoption plan.

Anecdotal evidence shows that if she undergoes a change of heart, it usually happens either just before or just after the birth of her child since that's the time when her decision becomes most real to her.