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Home Study
No matter what kind of adoption you choose, you'll need a home study in
order to get it started. A home study is the first step in the adoption
process -- an assessment of your skills and talents as a potential adoptive
parent. Although you can start your adoption search prior to getting your
study approved, your adoption won't be approved until your home study
is completed.
Most prospective adoptive parents find the study invasive
and stressful. And that's putting it mildly. Why, they ask, do we have
to put our lives under a microscope and prove our worthiness as parents
when everyone else does whatever they like, without the slightest bit
of scrutiny?
And they're right -- to a point. On the surface, the
home study does seem a little unfair. But once you realize that its other
purpose is to educate and prepare you for all of the responsibilities
and obligations that lie ahead, you'll come to appreciate it more.
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The
Process
The home study is conducted by a provincially-approved
adoption practitioner, formerly known as a social worker. S/he can be
found independently in provinces such as Ontario or, as is more often
the case, through a licensed adoption agency.
His/her main job is to get you thinking about adoption and
the unique challenges of raising an adopted child in ways that you may
not have thought about before. The format of a home study revolves around
a series of interviews lasting anywhere from an hour to two or three.
The exact details of a study will vary, depending on the type of adoption
sought, the requirements and your adoption practitioner's personal preferences.
For instance, the process for a privately-arranged adoption will be very
different from a publicly-arranged one. Similarly, a couple adopting from
China will be asked different questions than a couple adopting from, say,
Russia.
...bear in mind that the aim of your home study
is not to judge you but to get you thinking about issues you may
not have thought about before...
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Typically, your first few sessions will take place at your
adoption practitioner's office or home, and the last one or two will be
held at your home. Depending on what kind of adoption you're pursuing,
your availability and the time it takes to complete all the paperwork,
the process usually takes between three months to a year to complete.
Each study is good for six months. After that time, you'll need to get
it updated before a placement can be completed.
Your adoption practitioner is not authorized to approve
a placement. His/her role is to make a recommendation as to your suitability
for adoption. Only a director of the provincial ministry in charge of
adoption can give the green light to a placement based on the best interests
of a child.
Besides preparing you for the challenges that await you
down the road, your home study is designed to provide a prospective birth
mother (or father) with information about you and your partner to help
her with her decision.
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The Costs
Costs vary. However, the average is around $1,000-$1,400.
There is usually no fee for a home study for a public adoption.
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The Requirements
At first glance, the requirements for a home study
can seem quite extensive and daunting. Among other things, you'll be expected
to provide:
- An autobiographical statement, either verbal or
written
- A medical report from your doctor
- Police clearance (local, RCMP, and from any country
in which you've lived as an adult for six months or more)
- At least four letters of reference
Rather
than get intimidated, keep in mind that the home study is designed to
help you get your head around the many different issues you'll be facing
in the months -- and years -- ahead. Among other things, your adoption
practitioner will want to know that you've addressed your feelings about
infertility.
S/he'll also want to make sure that you view your decision to adopt as
a positive step forward and that you and your partner are on the same
page.
When meeting your adoption practitioner, remember
that s/he's in the business of building families, not tearing them apart.
Some of the questions s/he'll ask may put you on the spot or seem unnecessarily
intrusive. But remember, s/he's not out to "get" you. S/he's
not the enemy. S/he knows what you're going through and she simply wants
to help you prepare yourself -- emotionally, mentally, physically and
financially -- for the different kinds of situations you may run into.
If it's any consolation, most applicants get through their assessment
without major difficulty.
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Tips:
Autobiographical Statement
This is essentially the story of your life -- past,
present and future. It includes details about your relationship with your
partner (if you have one), your family and work history, as well as your
thoughts about parenting and adoption. Be straightforward and truthful.
Don't be concerned about impressing your adoption practitioner. Remember,
s/he's on your side. For most couples, this part of the home study is
little more than a formality. Unless you've done something drastically
wrong in your life, there's very little here that could jeopardize your
chances to adopt.
The Interview
Actually, make that "interviews" since there's
more than one. Along with your autobiographical statement, your interviews
will make up the bulk of your home study. The most important thing to
bear in mind here is to relax and be yourself. Be prepared to discuss
personal issues regarding your marriage, family, income, health and parenting.
And please, please don't worry about being perfect. The fact that
you don't get along with one of your parents or a sibling won't be considered
a strike against you. And it certainly doesn't mean that you're not "family
oriented," which is one of the things you'll want to stress.
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As for your meeting at home,
don't get hung up if things are out of place. And don't spend the
day dusting and vacuuming.
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Don't panic if you're unable to find the "right"
answer to every question. Be straightforward and candid and, when the
occasion calls for it, display a sense of humour. This, along with patience
and flexibility, will come in handy later when you're adopting. Discussing
your infertility may be painful for you, but it's important to demonstrate
that you're coping with it. As for your finances, how much you make isn't
as important as how you manage it. As long as you have the means to support
a child, the amount of money you make -- or whether you drive a Ford or
a Ferrari -- doesn't really matter.
As for your session in your home, don't get hung up
if things are a little on the messy side. And whatever you do, don't spend
the day dusting and vacuuming! Remember, your parenting skills are what's
on display here, not the way you keep house. Besides, a little disarray
here and there can go a long way. It shows that you're not the type of
person who will go to pieces the first time your child spits up on the
couch or knocks over your favourite vase. By the way, if there are any
skeletons in your closet this is the time to discuss them. Putting off
this subject until later may delay the process and could cause you and
your partner unnecessary grief and stress.
The Medical Report
This is to be completed by your doctor. The questions
-- about your medical history -- are pretty standard. Unless you've got
a life-threatening disease, there's nothing to be concerned here. Raising
a child is physically and emotionally demanding, but you already knew
that.
The Police Clearance
This involves a trip to your local police station and
getting fingerprinted by the RCMP. If you've lived outside the country
for any length of time during your adult life, it also means getting a
clearance from that country as well. Being fingerprinted will no doubt
be a new experience for you, and it can seem a little stressful at first.
But think of it as just one more hoop you have to go through -- an anecdote
you can tell your friends about later. The only thing that could sink
your application is a conviction of child abuse, in which case you shouldn't
be allowed to adopt in the first place. Don't worry about minor traffic
violations and the like. In general, as long your transgressions aren't
major -- and a drunk driving conviction would be considered major -- or
don't reflect negatively on your ability to raise a child, you have little
to fear. Just make sure that you get this part of process started as early
as you can, particularly if you've got a situation on the go, since it
can take a long time.
Reference Letters
Most people get four references, but you have the option
of getting more if you wish. One should be from a family member, two should
be from friends, and one should be from work. As always, make sure that
each reference has something nice to say about you. You may feel awkward
asking someone from work to comment on your plans to adopt or your parenting
skills, but what you really need is just a character reference. In regards
to your friends, try to get a parent. Parents know what to include and
what to highlight. Once again, this requirement is pretty straightforward
and shouldn't create any major difficulties or delays.
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Ten
Common Mistakes Adoptive Parents Make When Completing their Home Study
- They think they have to be perfect
to get approved.
- They don't prepare enough or they
prepare too much.
- The focus on "passing" and
not on the educative elements.
- They don't realize that different
kinds of adoption require different kinds of home studies.
- They rely too heavily on their adoption practitioner to get them through the process.
- They let their adoption practitioner and others
dictate their schedule.
- They're afraid of asking questions.
- They don't realize that it's only
the first step in the adoption process.
- They think that, once they complete
it, they'll know everything there is to know about adoption.
- They don't realize that after six
months, it has to be updated before a placement can be made.
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