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FAQs
Got a question? We've got answers.
Questions:
- What's adoption?
- Who can adopt in Canada?
- How do we know we're
ready to adopt?
- What if my partner isn't
as ready to adopt as I am?
- What's the first thing
we should do once we decide we're ready?
- Should we tell our family
and friends?
- Who else can help me?
- What's the next thing
we should do?
- What's a home study?
- What kind of professional
help will we need to adopt?
- What kinds of adoption
are available in Canada?
- How do they differ?
- What's the difference
between adoption and foster care?
- What's open adoption?
- What's the difference
between open adoption and private adoption?
- How does the process
work?
- How can Canada Adopts!
help us?
- Who will see our letter?
- Why does the site refer
only to birth mothers, and not birth parents?
- What's a birth mother
like?
- Will birth mothers from
outside Canada contact us?
- Why would an American
birth mother want to place her child with a Canadian couple?
- What if we're contacted
by a birth mother from the same city as us?
- Is there any way to
get a birth mother to choose us specifically?
Answers:
- What's adoption?
Adoption is a legal and social process. It involves
the transferring of rights over a child from a set of birth parents
to a set of adoptive parents.
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- Who can adopt
in Canada?
In theory, practically anyone. Although some private
and public
agencies may have rules and regulations regarding an applicant's
religion, race, age, marital status, sexual orientation, lifestyle and
so on, in general as long as you're a Canadian citizen over 18, you're
as eligible as the next person. For reasons of convenience, our site
refers to anyone interested in adopting a child as an "adoptive
couple" or "adoptive parents" since they make up the
majority of people who adopt.
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- How do we
know we're ready to adopt?
Adoption is a personal decision that only you can
make. In order to make a success of it, you'll need to sort through
your feelings about infertility
and realize that adoption isn't a cure so much as an alternative. In
essence, adoption boils down to two issues: parenting, and parenting
a child who is biologically different from you. If you're ready to do
that, you're ready to adopt.
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- What if my
partner isn't as ready to adopt as I am?
Since you'll be responsible for raising your child
together, it's important that you're both on the same page. Listen carefully
to what your partner tells you. If s/he says s/he's not ready, figure
out whether s/he means "I'm not ready now" or "I'm not
ready ever." It might just be a question of timing. Then again,
it might be something else. Adoption can get very stressful and can
take a heavy toll on even the strongest of marriages. Make sure you're
both prepared.
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- What's the
first thing we should do once we decide we're ready?
Gather as much information as you can. It will save
you time, money, headaches -- and heartaches -- down the road. Take
things one step at a time and don't jump into any situation until you've
got all the facts.
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- Should we
tell our family and friends?
Yes, and everyone else you know, especially if you're
interested in a private
domestic adoption in Canada or the United
States. Chances are, they'll be happy for you, and they could even
help you. You'll be surprised at the number of people you'll
know who will have a connection to adoption, directly or indirectly.
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- Who else can
help us?
There are many places, groups and resources you can
turn to. The Adoption
Council of Canada is a good place to start. Depending on which province
you live in, some of the local branches offer How-to-Adopt seminars
that are a great introduction to the process. If you know people who
have gone through an adoption, speak to them. Most adoptive couples,
you'll find, will be happy to share their experiences. Also, contact
agencies, public
and private,
individual
licensees and adoption
practitioners to see what they have to offer. In the meantime, crack
open a book,
magazine or newsletter and read up as much as you can.
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- What's the
next thing we should do?
Develop a strategy. Determine what kind of child
you'd like to adopt -- newborn, special needs or international and then,
based on the information you've gathered, figure out how to do it. Focusing
on a specific goal is important, but be prepared to pursue other avenues
just in case things don't work out. Also, make arrangements to get a
home study.
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- What's a home
study?
A home
study is the first step in any adoption journey. No matter what
type of adoption you pursue, you won't be able to get it approved until
you've completed your study. A home study is an assessment of your skills
as a potential adoptive parent. It's also an educational tool, designed
to prepare you for some of the responsibilities that lie ahead.
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- What kind
of professional help will we need to adopt?
A provincially-approved adoption
practitioner can take you through the home study process and answer
any general questions you may have. Depending on which route you take,
you should also start thinking about getting an individual
adoption licensee to help you with the legal side of things. Please
note: Individual licensees and adoption practitioners are mainly confined
to Ontario. If you're from outside the province and you want to adopt
privately within Canada, you often have no choice but to go through
a private
agency. (Except in Quebec, where there is no private domestic
adoption, and in provinces like Nova Scotia, where there are no private
agencies).
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- What kinds
of adoption are available in Canada?
The three main choices are: public
domestic, private
domestic, private
overseas and private
US.
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- How do they
differ?
The main differences are the costs, time frame and
the type of child available. Public adoptions are arranged through government
agencies like the Children's Aid Society. There's usually no fee attached
but the waiting period for a healthy newborn is long -- about eight
years. Most of the children available through public agencies are special
needs children -- older children with behavioural or learning disabilities.
Private
domestic adoptions and adoptions from the US can be arranged by
provincially-licensed licensees
-- individuals or agencies.
They're more expensive but the waiting period for a newborn is much
less -- one to three years, although there are no guarantees. The costs
for a private domestic adoption range from about $10,000 to $15,000.
To adopt from the US, you're looking at fees of upwards of $30,000+.
Overseas adoptions
are arranged through private agencies. The waiting period can often
be as short as a year, depending on the country chosen, and the costs
run between about $20,000 and $35,000+. The children are usually a few
months old and of a different race or nationality.
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- What's the
difference between adoption and foster care?
Adoption is a lifelong commitment. Foster care, on
the other hand, is usually a short term or temporary arrangement that
involves placing a child with a family while the child's parents undergo
counseling to see whether they're able to continue parenting. Although
the goal of foster care is to reunite children with their parents, in
some instances the foster parents may end up adopting the children themselves.
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- What's open
adoption?
Open adoption is any situation where the birth mother
and the adoptive family exchange identifying information about each
other. How much is determined by the two parties, and can include everything
from swapping social and legal histories to letters and photos, and
in some cases, even visits. It is the opposite of closed adoption, which
until recently was the adoption standard.
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- What's the
difference between open adoption and private adoption?
A private
adoption can be an open
adoption. Private adoption simply means any non-governmental adoption.
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- How does
the process work?
Each case is different. Adoption and child welfare
come under provincial jurisdiction, which means that each province has
it own laws and regulations. Some are more restrictive than others.
It all depends on where you live and where the child that you want to
adopt lives or is born. For more information, contact your adoption
practitioner or licensee or take a look at Adopting in Canada.
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- How can Canada
Adopts! help us?
While the information and resources on this site
can walk you through the adoption process, our Waiting
Parent Registry can help you speed up your efforts to build
or expand your family. By posting your "Dear Birth mother"
letter online, you can maximize your exposure and have prospective birth
mothers (or fathers) who are considering adoption for their child access
you with the click of their mouse, potentially reducing your search
from years to months and, in some cases, even weeks. But remember, adoption
involves more than just finding a child to adopt. You still have to
go through the legal steps to get your placement approved by the courts.
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- Who will
see our letter?
Anyone with access to the Internet can potentially
read it.
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- Why does
the site refer only to birth mothers, and not birth parents?
That's because birth mothers are usually the ones
who take the lead in finding an adoptive family for their child. Birth
fathers are important, don't get us wrong. Their consent to an adoption
is crucial. However, they're often out of the picture by the time you
hear from a prospective birth mother. In fact, the break up of their
relationship may be a direct result of her pregnancy.
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- What's a birth mother
like?
Birth mothers are as individual as you are. There
is no standard profile. About the only thing you can say with certainty
is that they're experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and are not ready
to be parents.
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- Will birth mothers from
outside Canada contacts us?
Yes, there's a good chance they could. Think of Canada
Adopts! as a bulletin board that can be viewed from anywhere in the
world. Our job is simply to post your "Dear Birth Mother"
letter -- the rest is up to you. We don't arrange the adoption nor do
we screen the people who will be contacting you. As with anything you
find through the Internet, you'll need to vet your mail and phone calls
carefully and be aware of all the risks since you never know who's at
the other end.
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- Why would an American
birth mother want to place her child with a Canadian couple?
There are pregnant women in the US who specifically
want their child to go to a Canadian home. Their reasons for doing this
will vary: they may admire Canada's social or medical system or they
might just want their children to grow up in a country where the cities
are safe, friendly, clean and green. As with most adoption issues,
it's purely a personal preference.
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- What if we're contacted by a birth mother
from the same city as us?
Although the chances of this happening are slight,
it does happen from time to time, particularly if you live in a large
city. Ultimately, it's your call. Many adoptive parents prefer to have
a arm's length relationship with a birth mother and vice versa. However,
if you anda prospective birth mother hit it off, you may decide the
distance between you is nothing more than a state of mind. It
all depends on your comfort level and your anxiousness to adopt.
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- Is there any way to get a birth mother to
choose us specifically?
If you're wondering whether you can offer any gifts
or financial inducements, the answer is no. In fact, they're illegal.
Getting a prospective birth mother to select you comes down to two things:
she has to find you, and she has to like you -- or at least feel that
you would make good parents for her child. When it comes to being chosen,
having traits, characteristics, values or interests that appeal to a
broad section of people are all assets.
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