Thank you for taking the time to read our birth parent letter. We hope this will give you a clear and honest account of who we are and the parents we hope to become.
Francis + Michael = one lucky couple
We met because of a magazine. Long story, let’s save it for coffee. Point is, we fell in love and have been together for eight years now, married for three. Our friends know us as the fun couple always willing to host an awesome dinner party. We laugh, sing and share our opinions over a table covered with food and wine. We do plenty more as a couple but, if you had to pick one thing that defines us, it is our love of good food, from a simple but nutritious weekday meal to Christmas and Easter feasts. We live by this motto: no matter what the day brings, there will always be dinner.
We live in Little Italy and have made a habit of heading to the Italian grocery store around the corner to gather the ingredients for these legendary dinner parties of ours. There are parks and playgrounds, a public swimming pool, splash pads, pubs, bike paths, great schools and hospitals around us. We love our neighbours and they dig us too. But everybody on our street loves Winnie, the Golden Retriever who lives next door.
Michael bought the house about ten years ago and Francis moved in five years later. Since then, we have made this little place our own slice of heaven.
Our house has three bedrooms, one and a half bathrooms, a clean, bright kitchen and a cozy dining and living room. We spend most of our time puttering in the kitchen, flopped on the couch in front of Netflix or, in Francis’s case, hanging out in the vegetable garden he planted out back. If you get a chance to visit, we are sure you will feel it is a great house to raise a family.
I’m the son of immigrants from India, the baby of the family. My parents worked hard and raised us proper in a middle class suburb of a major Canadian city. Our life at a glance : school and strip malls, summer jobs, Friday night pizza dinners and Sundays at the flea market down the street.
When I was young, my dad took me grocery shopping every Saturday morning. I loved our weekly getaway from mom and my older sister. He taught me to work hard and make good choices during our conversations in the grocery aisles. We always stopped at McDonald’s for breakfast on our way home but would never tell my mom because we wanted a second breakfast when we returned. I can kinda imagine doing the same with my kid one day.
Mom always had sandlewood incense burning in the kitchen. She would be there, her spice tin open, making one Indian dish after another. Hugs and kisses were followed by being fed several samosas or Indian sweets. In the background, some Bollywood movie would be playing; the kind where some lady in distress all of a sudden breaks into song and a million different spangly outfits.
My older sister looked out for me but never hesitated to punch me when I was being a brat. No surprise, she became a cop. She has two boys from her first marriage and now two stepdaughters with her new (awesome) husband. My nephews and step-nieces are between the ages of six and eleven, are into their tablets and biking around their neighbourhood looking for the next adventure.
I studied science in university, worked outside most summers, graduated and traveled to Australia for a year. When I came back to Canada, I headed off to grad school for journalism and landed with the public broadcaster – the one that everybody loves to hate.
I work hard, exercise, love to cook, eat, travel and all the other stuff you’d find on some generic OK Cupid profile. My favourite thing to do though is curl up with a book, magazine or graphic novel. Stories are my life. So is Francis.
I grew up in a medium-size town in Québec. I’m a single child which means I’m the oldest and the baby of the family at the same time! I grew up very close to both my parents but especially to my mother since she was a stay-at-home mom. That means I spent a lot of time joining her at her bowling club or grocery shopping or in the kitchen while she cooked good meals. I also used to go to McDonald’s with my dad on Saturday mornings because my mom is allergic to eggs so we couldn’t have bacon and egg breakfasts at home.
Both of my parents have giant families. I spent a lot of time with my aunts, uncles and cousins while I was growing up. One thing is for sure: I was loved. Of course I had my share of being disappointed with my kid life (according to my parents I was extremely upset when I learned that Santa Claus wasn’t real!) but overall, I have very good memories of my childhood : biking to the convenience store to buy cigarettes for my dad or milk for my mom, being excited to find one dollar on the sidewalk or playing hide-and-seek with the neighbours.
In the summer, our family would go to the cottage every weekend or for longer stays when my father was on vacation from work. My dad and I went fishing, hunting, ATVing, and everything else you would do at a cottage. When my relatives came up for a visit, I would play with them in the woods, swim in the lake, canoe and eat good meals. I rarely see my whole extended family now but some cousins are like siblings to me and we are all still very close. In fact, I couldn’t have gotten through losing my parents without my relatives and, of course, Michael. This past summer, both of my parents passed after succumbing to cancer. I sometimes find it hard to deal with my loss but the days are made better knowing that I will carry their memory and tell their stories to the child we welcome into our life.
When I was 18, I had to leave my hometown to go study in Montreal. At first, it was hard to be in a new city (and a big one like Montreal) but I soon gained many good friends who are still with me today.
Montreal was also the city where I discovered the world. There was so many different cultures and restaurants that we didn’t have in my hometown. I remember having Vietnamese food for the first time, my first Indian meal, discovering how to eat with my hands at an Ethiopian restaurant. I loved traveling the world through different cuisines, a curiousity that is still with me today.
Another thing I love is gardening. I enjoy having my hands in the dirt, planting flowers and trees. I love to plant vegetables even though every year it is a disaster because the squirrels destroy everything.
I’d like to raise a kid how I was raised myself: teach them the joy of cooking, to be curious, and respect others. I want them to share my passion for the beauty of nature, for being open to new things no matter how different they may be. I will teach them how to bike and swim and face their fear of jumping into the water, just like I see other parents do at the city pool.
But most importantly, I want my child to grow up knowing they are loved for who they are.
We know we want to raise a family with tons of love, respect and honesty. That’s where you come into our picture. Or, we come into yours.
We believe in an open adoption where a child knows who they are and where they have come from. Neither of us will ever pretend to be mom. That’s you. This kid will know it and hopefully grow to be proud of the fact that they have a mom and dads and grandmas and grandpas and cousins who love them and look out for them.
It’s fair to say that if we go down this road together we can all expect to be part of each other’s lives for the rest of our lives. Sometimes we’ll be closer, other times we might not hear from each other for a while. But the door will always be open and this kid, this brilliant little blessing, will know they have a dad, a papa and an awesome mom.
We hope this letter gives you insight into who we are. We are grateful you took the time to get to know us and hope that we will have the chance to meet you some day soon.