And We Wait…

This guest post is by An Adoptive Mother Who Is No Longer Waiting.

When I tell people we’re adopting, the reactions are varied.

Some people comment,
“that’s great!” and behind
the smile in their eyes
I see them wonder…

Is it I or my husband
who’s the weak link
in the fertility chain

And we wait…

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How Do I Get Chosen By A Birthmother?

If you’re looking to find a match through open adoption, chances are you’ve asked yourself one of these questions: What are birthmothers looking for? What do I need to do to get chosen? Is there something I need to say that will increase my chances of being picked?

If only it were that easy. The reality is that when it comes to getting chosen, there’s no magic formula.

Every situation, just like every birthmother or — more accurately — expectant parent considering adoption, is different.

But that’s also the good news: It means that anything is possible. In many ways, adoption matching is a level playing field. You have the same shot at getting chosen as the next person.   

At least on the surface. In some cases, an expectant mother (or parents) may have a very specific list of criteria about what they’re looking for in their baby’s adoptive parents which will narrow down their choices. 

For instance, if they live in the country, they may want a couple whose lifestyle mirrors their own. On the other hand, if they grew up with a single mother, they may want a two-parent family.

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3 Things An Expectant Mother Looks For In An Adoption Profile

It’s time to write your adoption profile and you have no idea where to start.

Your head is spinning from all of the different bits of advice you’ve heard from your agency, family, friends, or found online.

Nothing will test your sanity more than writing an adoption profile. After all, the stakes couldn’t be higher.

Who would ever have thought that your opportunity to become a parent would come down to a few thousand words and some photos?

But that’s where you are now, and you want to make sure that you do the best job you can. 

And yet if you think creating your profile is difficult, put yourself in the shoes of the woman—or the couple—who will be viewing it. 

She’s about to make one of the most important decisions of her life, and she knows nothing about you (or the other people she may be considering) apart from what’s inside your profile. 

When most people think of birthmothers or women who consider adoption for their baby, they have a skewed view of them based on stereotypes from the media or movies. 

The truth is every expectant parent is different and is looking for different things. That said, they do share some similarities.

Here are three things that expectant parents look for when considering an adoptive parent profile. 

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Why Every Adopting Family Needs A Support Group

This guest post is by Barbara Wallner, an adoptive parent. 

Going through the adoption process can be an overwhelming and lonely experience. Often well-meaning friends and family try to help, but don’t fully understand what it’s like.

Many of waiting parents have heard stories about someone else’s adoption gone wrong or how their friend’s friend got pregnant as soon as she started the adoption process.

While such comments are usually well-intended, they often add to our feelings of being overwhelmed and isolated.

This is one of the reasons why having a support network within the adoption community is crucial to waiting and adoptive families. Read More