How Our Son’s Birthmother Made Me A Mom

This guest post is by Jody Hoogwerf, an adoptive mother. 

It was January 4th, one year to the date that we began our journey at the fertility clinic.

Our infertility journey had actually started years before, six to be exact, but that day was “D day”—the day we needed to start conversations about taking the plunge and paying upwards of $10,000 to try and have a baby with the help of western medicine or through adoption.

That night my phone rang. It was my cousin.

She started with small talk: How was Christmas? What was new? What were our plans for the New Year?

It was not unusual for us to talk. We talked all the time.

What was unusual was the hesitation in her voice.

Finally I said, “What’s up”?

That’s when she told me about her unexpected pregnancy and her thoughts about what to do next.

Over the next hour as we talked, it was clear that she had thought long and hard about her options and that raising this baby was not on the table.

It was also clear that she wanted to place him for adoption. Continue reading

Placing My Baby In An Open Adoption: What I Want You To Know

This guest post is by Jessica, a birthmother. 

I am a birthmother.

I am proud of this title and love talking about my story, especially to those who are willing to listen with an open heart.

While I was pregnant many people including those closest to me were afraid, even offended, by my decision.

A sweet old lady told me that if I were to keep the child and endure the struggles of single parenthood that I would at least have her respect. Otherwise I would not.

Those words came from someone who genuinely thought she was being helpful.

My journey to open adoption ends with love, new family members, and a happy life. Continue reading

How My Son’s Birthmother Taught Me The Meaning Of Unconditional Love

This guest post is by Cara Anne, an adoptive mother.

When you’re told that it’s nearly impossible to have biological children, that sudden sharp feeling of despair stays with you forever.

On a cold day in January my husband and I silently exited the doctor’s office, shared some tears and headed back to work.

We were in shock. What do you do?  Who do you tell?  Where do you go for support when you’re told this type of news?

After spending more than a year picking up the pieces and receiving support from a good friend who had adopted, we decided to take the plunge to try and adopt too.

Although the idea of open adoption was a scary and foreign idea, we were comforted and grounded by my friend’s experience in open adoption.

She reassured me that her relationship with her birth mother was similar to a good friend or a sister.

She explained that her visits with her son’s birth family were comforting and joyous. Continue reading

Placing My Baby For Adoption Has Given Him Twice The Love

This guest post is by Shelby Craig, a birthmother. 

Most people think at 22, a single mother can thrive. Don’t get me wrong, many can.

But when I was unexpectedly pregnant, I knew I couldn’t give my son the things he needed.

He needed parents who could give him everything, especially love.

I had plenty of that to give him, but love is not enough.

So I found two incredible people who were more than willing to welcome him into their family.

They were unable to have children, and when I asked them to become my son’s adoptive parents, they said yes. Continue reading