My 10 Biggest Surprises As An Older Adoptive Father

This guest blog is by Tom LaMarr, a proud adoptive father and author.

It was never our plan to become older parents. True, we had deliberately held off on starting a family, but even then, my wife, Sam, and I were thinking more along the lines of slightly older parents.

But here came the twist. By the time we chose to end our wait, parenthood had grown tired of waiting for us.

Pregnancy came easily, but ended in the heartache of miscarriage—the first of three. We visited specialists, changed our diets, and removed every last trace of fun and spontaneity from our romantic lives.

Four years in, we considered in vitro with its many complications, the most frightening measured in multiple births. All this time, we had been watching friends pursue adoption and share photos of beautiful, smiling children who weren’t quadruplets.

The photos won out. Domestic adoption emerged as our choice, and it’s one we never came to regret, even today, as our daughter Evelyn completes her first year of teenhood.

Being a parent proved worth the wait. At 61 years of age, I am part-time chauffeur and full-time proud father. I am also the world’s greatest chef, at least when preparing nachos or tomato soup, and a nuanced interpreter of bedtime stories.

These are the roles that most fully define me. They also happen to be the ones that give me my greatest satisfaction. Continue reading

15 Motivational Quotes If You’re Adopting Or Placing A Child For Adoption

Adoption can be tricky.

Just when you think you’ve got a handle on it, something sneaks up out of nowhere and makes you question everything you thought you knew about the process.

Whether you’re adopting a child or placing one for adoption, every journey has its share of surprises and setbacks.

Keep in mind that most of the struggles you will face will be temporary, designed to test your resolve, so don’t let them get the better of you.

Instead, stay focused and keep your faith in the process.

Here are 15 motivational quotes to help you do that and overcome the obstacles that you may run into along the way. Continue reading

10 Things Waiting Parents Who Find An Open Adoption Match Never Say

Few things in the open adoption process are as challenging as finding a match with expectant parents.

By then, you’ve already gone through the police checks, the financial checks, the medical checks,  not to mention the questions and reactions from your family, friends and others.

But reaching out to expectant parents considering adoption takes your journey to a whole new level.

As a waiting adoptive parent, you want to succeed. But sometimes there are things you may be telling yourself that could actually be holding you back from making an adoption connection by creating a negative mindset.

Here are 10 things that waiting parents who find an open adoption match never say. Continue reading

8 Things To Do After A Woman Contacts You Online And Says She Wants You To Adopt Her Baby

Finding an online adoption match is an exciting time if you’re a prospective adoptive parent hoping for an open adoption.

Nothing will get your heart pumping faster than hearing that a pregnant woman has found your parent profile on the web and wants you to adopt her baby.

But as important as that initial bittersweet email from her may be, keep in mind that it is only the first stage in the matching process, and that a match is not the same as a placement.

As this list shows, you still have a long way to go before you can bring your baby home and become a parent. Continue reading

How To Connect With Expectant Parents Considering Adoption Through Word of Mouth

Finding a match with expectant parents considering adoption is one of the hardest parts of the open adoption process.

If you’re a waiting adoptive parent, you will likely have created an adoption profile to help you stand out from the crowd and spread the word that they’re adopting.

But as effective as adoption profiles are, they’re no match for what’s been called the earliest and most honest form of advertising: word of mouth.

Getting the word out that you’re adopting, and encouraging others to do the same, isn’t only the cheapest way to get the word out.

In some provinces such as Alberta and Manitoba where advertising by adoptive parents is banned, it’s the only way. Continue reading