The Problem With Telling Infertile Couples To “Just Adopt”

I remember the first time we heard it. We had just told a friend about our infertility struggle when she asked us a question we would hear again and again.

“Why don’t you just adopt?”

She meant well. She knew how badly we wanted to start a family. For her, adoption was just another way to create one.

Today, 17 years after our eldest son’s birthparents placed him in our arms, we understand that sentiment more than ever.

But at the time, it wasn’t what we wanted to hear.

We were still grieving, unable to understand why something that came so easily to other couples was so hard for us.
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I’m Not Pregnant, But I’m Expecting

This guest post is by Mira Gallaway, a hopeful adoptive mother.

No, I didn’t get to plan a super cute way to break the news to my husband, our friends, or our family.

And I didn’t wait in anticipation for the second line to appear, or the plus sign, or anything of that nature.

And I don’t have an adorable baby bump to watch grow.

And I don’t have an app or blog ticker telling me how big my baby is right now, or what fruit they compare to in size.

And I don’t get to feel butterflies floating around in my tummy, or feel him or her stretching and growing safely under my heart.

There are a lot of things that I won’t get to experience while I wait for my family to start, and you know what? That’s okay.

As a waiting adoptive parent who is preparing for her baby’s arrival, I too am an expectant mom. Continue reading

10 Things To Know Before Posting Your Online Adoption Profile

Posting an online adoption profile is a great way to create a presence for yourself  on the web and increase your chances of connecting with expectant parents who are considering adoption for their baby.

For many expectant parents, the internet is one of the first stops in their open adoption journey, enabling them to research their options and even find adoptive parents in a convenient, confidential and pressure-free setting.

But despite its proven track record as an effective outreach tool, there are red flags and limitations to what a web profile can do. Here are 10 things you need to know before you post yours online. Continue reading

Open Adoption Advocates In Alberta Call For End To Ban On Online Profiles

Waiting adoptive parents and open adoption professionals in Alberta say it’s time for the government to update its ban on online profiles.

Speaking to the CBC, they say the law prohibiting advertising by adopting parents, which includes posting their parent profile on Canada Adopts!, is unfair and puts them at a disadvantage.

In open adoption, couples hoping to adopt can often take months or even years off their wait time by connecting directly with families that are placing their baby for adoption.

And as the number of parents making an adoption plan drops, finding new ways to spread the word about their desire to adopt is becoming more important than ever for waiting parents.

However, under Alberta’s current law, prospective adoptive parents are not allowed to advertise or market themselves.

Meanwhile, in other provinces and territories such as Ontario, British Columbia and Yukon, couples have the right to use any number of outreach tools including online profiles, social media and websites. Continue reading

What Is Placing A Baby For Adoption Really Like?

What is it really like to place a baby for adoption?

Although everyone has an opinion about birthmothers and their decision to place, the inner workings of that decision still remain a mystery to many people.

That’s why this article published in Cosmopolitan earlier this week is worth reading.

Based on interviews with four anonymous birthmothers ages 24 to 33, “What It’s Really Like to Place Your Baby For Adoption” takes readers behind-the-scenes, sharing the women’s placement stories and how the experience has changed their lives.

All members of the adoption triad will find many points of interest in these first-hand accounts. But for anyone who’s hoping to find an adoption match with an expectant other or thinking about creating an adoption plan for her baby, these stories will be of particular interest.

From what leads someone to choose adoption to what to expect down the road, you can find it all here.

Keep in mind that every birthmother story is different and not everyone has the same experience as these women, who were 16 to 21 years old when they placed.

Interestingly, while all of them say they are at peace with their decision (and in at least one case, “really happy” about it), it’s clear that they weren’t made without a lot of challenges, tears, and pain—some of which still lingers to this day.

Here is a summary of the main points. Continue reading