Why We’re Not Angry With Our Daughter’s Birthparents

This guest post is by Crystal, an adoptive mother. 

There is a question that we get asked time and time again, from friends, family, even professionals: “Aren’t you angry with them?”

The “them” are our daughter’s birth parents.

Birth parents of children with special needs are faced with a hard stigma.  So often in our experience people seem to want to blame them, to label them as selfish, weak or heartless.

And I’m guilty of it. When we first were read the case file for our daughter, those were the thoughts that ran through my head.

What kind of people could just “give up” a child because of a disability?

Isn’t the very definition of “parent” giving your child the best life they can possibly have, regardless of whether it’s what you expected?  Continue reading

Life After Placement: 9 Birthmothers Share Their Stories

Adoption Awareness Month is in full swing, and one of its goals is to educate people about adoption.

It’s a task that Hillary Jones has taken upon herself to do not just this month, but every month of the year.

Hillary is a birthmother and a photographer. Through her photographic essay, The Birthmother Series, she hopes to change the way that society views birthmothers by giving them a voice—and a face.

“Giving up a child for adoption isn’t nearly as much of a taboo today as it was a few decades ago,” she recently told Canada Adopts! “Yet I know I am not the only birthmother who has faced judgement and harsh criticism as a result of the stereotypes of women who place their children.”

By documenting their first-person stories, Hillary hopes to go beyond the “birthmother” label and show that women who placing their children for adoption aren’t a stereotype. Continue reading

When, And How, To Look For A New Adoption Social Worker

This guest post is by Barb, a waiting adoptive mother. 

When my husband and I began the adoption process last year, we knew it would be met with frustrations such as not knowing when a match would happen—or even if it would happen.

What we didn’t expect were the enormous delays we would face and the uncomfortable situations we would find ourselves in with our adoption social worker.

From early on, something seemed off.  We were asked repeatedly during our visits whether or not we had paid the thousands of dollars for the home study, even though we had.

It seemed like the number one priority.

Continue reading