41+ Things You Wish People Wouldn’t Say About Adoption

It’s estimated that one in five people are touched by adoption. If you don’t have a personal connection to it, chances are you know someone who does.

And yet despite the increased awareness about adoption and the countless families that have been created through it, many people are still in the dark about what adoption means and how it works.

As a result, you may have found yourself on the receiving end of a question or comment that rubbed you the wrong way.

This week we asked our Facebook community to share the one thing they wished people wouldn’t say about adoption. Here’s what you told us.

Postscript: Since we first published our story, we’ve received additional questions and comments to the original 41 that readers sent us. If you want to add your to the list, tell us about it on Facebook or email it to us. Continue reading

The Video Hopeful Parents Who Question If They Can Love An Adopted Child Should See

We’ve all been there as hopeful adoptive parents: On the one hand, you have this intense yearning to bring a child into your home.

But on the other hand, the deeper you get into the adoption process and the more horror stories you hear, the more you question whether you’re really cut out to become an adoptive parent and can love a child who is not biologically related to you.

Is the bonding process for an adopted child the same as it is for a biological one? If not, how is it different? And how long does it take?

Adoption is full of unknowns and one of the biggest uncertainties is how will you connect with the child that is placed with you. Will the love come instantly, or will it take time? And what if you don’t feel anything at all? Continue reading

Why We Chose Open Adoption As A Same Sex Couple

This guest post is by Tommy, a hopeful adoptive parent.

My husband Austin and I have been together for just over eight years.

From the very start of our relationship, we quickly established that we both wanted kids to be part of the picture. We just weren’t exactly sure how it would come about.

We have come to decide on adoption as our preferred means, but we didn’t start there.

Originally, we considered building our family through surrogacy.

We liked the idea of having a genetic tie to our child, and surrogacy seemed to us the closest way a gay couple like us could ‘give birth’ to a child.

To find out more about it, we signed up for a course for single or coupled men who were considering parenthood called “Daddies and Papas 2B.”

One of the benefits of the course was in meeting families who had navigated the different avenues of family creation: surrogacy, co-parenting and adoption. Continue reading

Why I Hate the Phrase “Put Up for Adoption”

This guest post is by Kristen, a waiting adoptive parent.

“Hate” is a strong word, I know.

There are many myths surrounding domestic adoption, but one of the biggest is that the birthmother doesn’t care about her child.

We need to put that myth to rest, right now.  Birthmothers love their babies.

They want what is best for their child, even if it means placing that child into the arms of another loving family.

A birthmother puts her baby at the forefront of her life as an act of love. It’s a decision that is not made without considerable difficulty, turmoil and grief.

But as difficult as it is, it’s what she feels is the best decision for her child.

This is why I struggle with the phrases “put up a baby for adoption ” and “give up a child for adoption”. Continue reading

18 Motivating Quotes To Inspire You While You Wait To Adopt

Summertime, and the livin’ is easy.

That is, unless you’re waiting to adopt, in which case things couldn’t be harder.

While other couples are outside with their baby strollers or playing with their children in the park, you’re cooped up inside waiting for the phone to ring and wondering if your turn will ever come.

But in the same way that winter turns to spring and spring gives way to summer, you need to believe that things will not only change, but change for the better.

And so, in keeping with the summery vibe, here are 18 motivational quotes to boost your spirits and inspire you while you wait. Continue reading